30 Things to Do Before You Die

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1. Stop worrying about debt.

2. Forgive your ex-lovers.

3. Stop trying to control your outcome.

4. Look in the mirror and love yourself unconditionally.

5. Leave the job you hate.

6. Find your purpose and live it full heartedly.

7. Adopt a furry friend.

8. Don’t feel guilty for holiday weight gain.

9. Trust that everything is in right order.

10. Travel to the place you keep thinking about.

11. Try something that scares you daily.

12. Be open to change.

13. Let go of your past.

14. Stop trying to change people.

15. Stop looking for answer outside of yourself.

16. Stop thinking you did something wrong.

17. Be your weird, crazy, beautiful self.

18. Follow your heart.

19. Risk everything for love.

20. Reject rejection.

21. See the world as a beautiful, safe, and loving place.

22. See everyone as equals.

23. Give up all attachments to stuff.

24. Recognize the journey is the reward.

25. Stay hopeful and optimistic in difficult situations.

26. Welcome all life lessons.

27. See the opportunities in every challenge rather than give up.

28. Live your values.

29. Inspire others by your own bigness.

30. Play with the world.

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

From the writer of 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself 

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Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list for the upcoming year – 30 things to start doing for yourself:

1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individualinside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.
12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready!  Think about it.  You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward.  So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be.  Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment.  And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made.  People and priorities change.  As some relationships fade others will grow.  Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  Aim to break your own personal records.
16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them.  Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others.  And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people.  Guide them if you know a better way.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.  Love and kindness begets love and kindness.  And so on and so forth.
20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition.  Be true to yourself.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down.  Breathe.  Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose.  When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity.  These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day.  Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner.  Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’  One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are.  Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal.  No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.  Get out there and DO something!  The harder you work the luckier you will become.  While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it.  By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it.  Talk to those closest to you.  Tell them the truth about how you feel.  Let them listen.  The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.  You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.  Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.  No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  Read The How of Happiness.
30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”  Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective.  You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You didn’t go to sleep outside.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.  You hardly broke a sweat today.  You didn’t spend a minute in fear.  You have access to clean drinking water.  You have access to medical care.  You have access to the Internet.  You can read.  Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

Your Guide to a Fresh Start in 2014

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As 2014 heralds in, resolutions are made and fresh starts are promised. At the beginning of each year we allow ourselves a clean slate, the proverbial “do-over” and a chance to turn over a new leaf and become a new and improved version of ourselves, but where do we start?

1. Do you want a total life makeover or do you only need to change a few things?

Your resolution doesn’t have to be huge. The “do-over” could apply to any area of your life you feel needs improving. Whatever it is you want to change, jot them down on a piece of paper. Make this your wishlist for personal improvement. You need to know exactly what you want to change, so be specific as possible. A lot of people say, “I want to lose weight,” “I want to be happy,” ”I want to be healthier” or “I want to be more organized.” These are all great resolutions, but they are a bit too general.

2. Make a list of specifics.

People who outline measurable steps to achieving their goals are more likely to succeed than those who don’t. It’s great that you want to lose weight or be happier, but how are you going to accomplish those goals? Goals are not open-ended. Rather, they are meant to be completed so that new goals can be made. So instead of saying you want to lose weight, you could say I want to lose weight and I will do that by eating healthier and exercising more during the week. Instead of saying you want to be happier, think about what would make your happier and then do it. Maybe taking an art course would make you happy or maybe learning to play an instrument would. These are measurable steps towards achieving your goals.

3. Be realistic and plan accordingly.

One of the reasons why we don’t keep our resolutions is because we often throw so much energy into them in the beginning and then the energy fizzles out. You’re not going to lose 35 pounds during your first few weeks of exercising or eating healthier, so set a realistic goal of losing a few pounds. If you want to organize your entire home, you won’t be able to do it in a few days. Focus on one room at a time instead. If you break your goal into smaller goals, it won’t seem overwhelming.

4. Make a vision board.

There is something to the Law of Attraction—that which you think of and imagine you can achieve. Focus on what you want as opposed to what you don’t want. Take a day to make a creative poster showing the goals you would like to achieve. Find words, images and phrases that inspire you to remember the goals you would like to achieve. If you want to go to Hawaii, put a picture of Hawaii on your vision board. Your intentions and emotions will be tied to your board, which will help you to stay on course. Place your board someplace prominent like on a refrigerator or next to your desk. Every time you see your board it will subconsciously remind you and act as reinforcement for your goal.

5. Take inventory on what serves and doesn’t serve you in this life.

Purge the toxic relationships, toxic attitudes, habits and behaviors and replace them with healthy alternatives. You’re vibrationally what you surround yourself with, so strive for health in this department. This might be that toxic friend who pulls you into a rut or the food that gives you heartburn. Surround yourself with inspirational people and thoughts. Again, the Law of Attraction works here.

6. Let the past go.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before or what has happened to you in the past—you have a fresh start now! Don’t look back. Keep marching forward! Today is a new day, a new start, a new way!

7. Be gentle on yourself.

Sometimes we stumble and get off course. Don’t beat yourself up or give up because you’ve had a bad day. We tend to be our own worst enemy when we mess up. Try to remember baby steps and baby attitude. Have you ever seen a baby learning to walk? It gets up, takes a few steps, then falls and gets right back up again. What would happen if the baby said, “I’m so stupid. I can’t get this right! I’m never going to do this again!”? The baby would never walk. Luckily, babies aren’t programmed to give up. Take yourself back to your baby mentality and keep going no matter what obstacles life throws at you. Refer back to step six, if needed. Remember, you are the person you create yourself to be. Make the most of this time and use this fresh start to become the new and improved you in 2014!

Reset

Happy 2014 everyone!  While many have made resolutions (and probably have already broken them), I’ve hit the reset button.  After ten years in Los  Angeles, I’m taking a time out and living back in Tennessee for at least a year.

The short explanation is that I’m helping my parents out while my mom prepares for retirement.  The longer answer is that I also needed a change.  I started to feel restless in my job, my apartment, basically my life there.  I took a Meeting and Event Management program in the summer with the hopes of getting into the Event Planning field and eventually work for myself (which is my ultimate goal).

But as excited as I was to get into a field I could love and thrive in, I knew it meant having to start from the bottom again and possibly have a pay cut.  And if I continued to live in LA, I would remain financially (and emotionally) stagnant. By taking a year off from my lifestyle there, I can save more, and becoming my own boss can be a reality much sooner.  While I save, I can create my business plan and develop my “brand.”

I also wanted to be around my family more.  I have no immediate family in LA, and I wanted to be around my parents while they were both healthy and active (return because I want to rather than because I need to).

Sometimes we need to take a step back to move forward, and finances aside, I need time to reflect and refocus.  Living in Nashville will be less distracting than living in Los Angeles and allow me to be more of a hermit.  I’ve joked with friends that I’m in an extended quarter-life crisis, and I know if I didn’t take a time out now, I’d find myself in my mid-30s and miserable.  I need to reclaim the excitement I had about life when I started my 30s Rock Project on my 29th birthday (almost four years ago).

Here’s to an exciting 2014 filled with blessings and growth!

Thank You 2013!

The last months of 2013 were filled with more firsts and adventures as I celebrated a decade out in Los Angeles, prepared for a “life reset” (more on that later), and drove from California to Tennessee.

Katy Perry & Friends: We Can Survive Tour

Katy Perry, Bonnie McKee, Ellie Goulding, Kacey Musgraves, Tegan and Sara, Sara Bareilles

  

Happy Halloween

Naples (CA)

 

Venice (CA)

  

Morro Bay

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San Simeon

  

Hearst Castle

      

Palm Springs

       

Hiking to the Hollywood Sign (from Behind)

 

Justin Timberlake 20/20 Tour

      

Celebrating 10 Years in LA at Griffith Observatory and The Standard Downtown

  

Love to Go Cafe

Painting Class 

 

The Nutcracker

Baldwin Hills Overlook Hike

 

Randy’s Donuts

Natural History Museum

   

Shuttle Endeavour

 

Lake Hollywood Hike

    

Long Beach Aquarium

    

Macklemore Concert

Phoenix

     

Flagstaff

 

Albuquerque

Breaking Bad!

Location for Los Pollos Hermanos

 

Roswell 

  

        

Dallas

     

 

Texarkana

 

Little Rock

Former Clinton Home

Memphis

  

   

 

Leaving my mark!

Nashville

    

  

Chattanooga